Imperfect
by Weeping Princess
Summary: Narcissa Deshayes has always been put on a platform, and said to be perfect. But she is not. Her mother gives her a diary to record everything and that's exactly what she does. (About Narcissa Malfoy in her Hogwarts days.)


**Imperfect**

**Summary:** Narcissa Deshayes has always been seen as perfect, put on a stand, gilded, if you will. But she's not. There's more to her behind her facade of beauty, that only a lucky few will ever get to know. So, in the beginning of her first year, her mother presents her with a diary, a place to record her innermost thoughts. And Narcissa plans to take the diary the a wild and wicked ride that is her years at Hogwarts and beyond. Read if you dare, but don't say you weren't warned.   
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_I'm trying to control myself_   
_So please don't stand in my way_   
_I've waited for the longest time_   
_This is what I wanted in my way___

_Move over, move over_   
_There's a climax coming in my way_   
_Move over, move over_   
_There's a climax coming in my way___

_I don't like you, don't compromise_   
_Shattered by your weakness_   
_Shattered by your smile_   
_And I'm not very fond of you, and your lies_   
_Shattered by your weaknesses_   
_Shattered by your smile_

* Cranberries - Shattered   


  


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**Wednesday - September 1, 1971**

I am not perfect. I always have been portrayed as perfect. Perfect Narcissa Gabriella Deshayes. I'm not, but the whole world seems to think I am. 

I am presently eleven years old and on my way to Hogwarts. My mother, Noelle, gave me this diary to write anything and everything in it. In it, I will record my most deepest thoughts and almost everything that happens to me. 

How should I explain myself? I have long silver-blonde hair that I inherited from my mother, and green eyes from my father. I don't see much of my father. He's always away with some Malfoy fellow. 

He's brought his son over here, Lucius is his name, I believe. Nice boy, if a bit crass. My father has always been involved with odd people. He's sometimes had a man by the name of Lord Voldemort over. 

What an odd name, if I may say so. He had a hood over his face all throughout dinner which I thought was quite rude, but enough about that. 

I wish I could exchange places with my younger sister, Marguerite. She's nine right now. Even though I'm the oldest, she's mamma's favourite. 

I don't know what I do wrong. Marguerite could rip up her silk curtains and she wouldn't care, but if I did, mamma would have my head! 

She's so french, my mamma. Both Marguerite and I were born in Paris and have slight accents, Mamma is the most french though. She is constantly speaking in french to us, and going on about when she was younger, during the second world war. 

That's what makes mamma the most upset, when we mention the war, because it took away the lives of her father and mother – out Grandmere and Grandpere. 

Oh my, I've been going on. The train will be pulling up soon. I best get changed. Wish me luck.   
  
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**Thursday - September 2, 1971**

I am going to make pappa so proud. When I placed the sorting hat on my head, it seemed to have some doubts, it was odd, it was like it could read my mind, but anyway I'm in Slytherin House. 

That Lucius Malfoy is also. He seems more - I don't know - charming, since I last saw him. But that was well over a year ago. There were seven other people sorted into Slytherin Lucius and myself not included. Severus Snape, and three more guys, and three girls, totaling four. 

Their names are Pandora Claremont, Amity Lennon and Natasha Lakinsky. 

Pandora has short black hair and violet eyes, while her features are beautiful, she lacks self-confidence. She always has her face down and is rather lanky. 

Amity is the exact opposite of Pandora. She has long dishwater blonde hair, and clear blue eyes, but a rather large ego. She walks with her nose in the air, and is constantly telling anyone who will listen - in her Irish Brogue - that she is a descendent from one of the kings of Ireland. 

Natasha and I are almost alike. Both are fathers, it turns out, worked together a few years ago. She has shoulder length brown hair and brown eyes, but her beauty is inside. She has such a vibrant personality, she makes the whole room light up with her smile. 

And I've only known her a few hours. We both have a younger sister - her's is named Nicolette, and our mamma's have spent their lives to make us perfect examples of our family. 

It's sort of scary when I think of it, that there is someone out there who has gone through most of the stuff I have and we've only just met. 

I must go off now. It's our first class of the day and I don't want to be late.   
  
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**Friday - September 3, 1971**

Whew! We have a lot of work. It's only our second day back and I have so much work due! 

But, I've gotten a letter from father, as has Natasha - from her father, not mine, saying how proud they are of us for being in Slytherin. 

He says mamma and Marguerite send their love. I miss mamma, but not Marguerite so much. It's been months since I've seen pappa, and I hardly know him. 

I had an interesting conversation with Lucius today. I had dropped my eagle-feather quill and he was returning it to me, he also complimented me on my hair - which was in two french braids. 

I thanked him and told him Natasha did it for me. He then mumbled something. I asked him to repeat himself, and he briskly walked off, when Natasha came over at that moment. 

I must of looked upset, because she asked me what was wrong. I told her what had happened between Lucius and I. She took off and here I am, alone, writing in you while I have no idea what is going on! 

The world is so confusing and tiring. Sorry for such a short entry but I'm tired and off to bed. Goodnight.   


  
**Saturday - September 4, 1971**

I woke up this morning to find Natasha crying. When I asked her what was wrong she wouldn't tell me, she told me she didn't want me to get involved. 

I left her be and went off to find Lucius. I found him by the fire in a chair. He looked up and flashed me a smile. I glared back. I asked him what he did to Natasha. He was silent for a minute, then led me over to the corner. 

He pulled back the sleeve of his shirt, and showed me a mark burned onto his arm. It was of a skull with a snake coming out of it's mouth. I almost fainted but he caught me. I looked up into his eyes and got this weird feeling in my stomach. 

It was like butterflies. He let go of me and started to explain to me what it was. I nodded like I understood, but something inside me make me feel like that would become an important part of my life later on. 

He never got around to telling me why or what happened with him and Natasha that night, but I'll find out later. Oh, here's an owl from mamma. Be right back. 

Mamma's letter is a four page list of all the rules she expects me to follow this year. Some of them include the way I'm supposed to be wearing my hear each day, my make-up, and my manner of speech to the various ranks of people throughout Hogwarts. 

My mamma is so dear to me, but so tiring. I'm going to put the letter away right now and finish up my homework.   
  


**Sunday - September 5, 1971**

I'm writing this by candlelight. Today something truly scary happened. Let me start from the beginning. 

Well, were in the library finishing up our History of Magic essays when Lucius walked in. He asked to speak to Natasha. She, reluctantly went over and they started to talk 

I was trying to listen AND do my schoolwork with is hard, so I dropped something and pretended to look for while I was still listening. And darn it, I still couldn't hear what they were saying. 

So, I leaned back to get a book and ended up falling off my chair. It was sort of funny, I guess. But it gets deeper. Before I hit the ground, Natasha slapped Lucius! 

She looked over and saw me on the ground and came to help me. Lucius followed but Natasha shot him a glare and he backed away. Natasha helped me up, and asked if I was alright. 

I told her I was fine, I just got a little shock from falling. So, we gathered up our stuff and left. But before we left, Natasha whispered something to him, 'Muertrier.' 

It was barely above a whisper, but I could definitely hear it. What she said in french, was murder. Now, this get's even deeper. It turns out, Natasha's father was murdered after he came back from a meeting with Mr. Malfoy. 

I have to go now, Natasha's coming. More later.   


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**Author's Note:** What did you think? Feel free to e-mail me at** Cryingrose2003@yahoo**.com if you have any questions, comment, or suggestion or just want to talk. 


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